[Christie] (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} xsullen_girlx) wrote,@ 2005-05-17 03:16:00 |
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it makes me that much wiser... thanks for making me a fighter.
I've come to a couple of decisions. I am sick of being harassed. Period. It's gone on periodically for months now, and I've patiently taken it in stride, because honestly I don't give a shit what people think about me. But it does bother me when people who don't know anything about me as a person start drama, and bring my friends into it. That is NOT okay with me. I love my friends, and I dont want them to have added drama in their lives on my account... I'm not quite sure why people (persons) waste their time on me, as I pretty much keep to myself and don't start shit with other people, even when I would really like to. I have one thing that these (this) person(s) do not have, and that's respect. I give people space when they need it, and I keep my mouth shut when I would like to give people a piece of my mind. I consider myself a somewhat decent and classy person, and I wouldn't stoop so low as to personally attack someone in their own space (such as a journal, etc) ESPECIALLY without valid cause, and NEVER without identifying myself. That just shows fear and jealousy, and proves my point. If someone has a problem with the way I live my life, or the things that I write, that's fine. I can take critisism better than most people, and being a writer I DO expect to have people who disagree with me... I always welcome a good healthy debate or arguement, as long as it's valid. But coming to MY journal and disrespecting me by calling me a slut, and a whore, and stupid... I won't put up with it. It's even worse when they bring my friends into it...
And even with the drama that has been arising, i am glad to say that I STILL haven't stooped as low as calling the person disrespectful names or attacking their character. I dont know who this person is, I dont know anything about them, and even if i do know the person by association, I still have no right to call them a whore or invade their life and personal space with vulgarity. It's just sick and immature. I cannot stand immaturity, and I cannot stand people who judge me based on... oh, i dont know... petty things like my hair color!... Those kinds of things don't get to me anyway. I have been judged a lot in my lifetime by the way I look. But I know who i am, and the people who know me are the only people whos opinions matter.
But, it still does get under my skin when people try to bring me down. I am only human, I do get my feelings hurt. I was upset, and angry, and confused... And that's what made me decide to make ALL posts of mine friends-only, and start banning people from my journal. It's not just going to happen here, it's going to happen everywhere I have an account. Even though I don't like doing it, I have been driven to taking this kind of step. To protect my privacy, and the privacy of my friends, I feel like this would be the best route to go.
In making that decision, i have also decided that i am NOT going to be as vague as I usually am in my entries. I am going to try to let my guard down, and stop trying to communicate hidden messages through my journal. I see it too much, and I don't want my journal entries to make up for talking things out one-on-one. I have spent the majority of my time with this journal writing entries for OTHER people... to send them messages, and to inform them of how i was feeling. Well, it's not going to happen anymore. I am going to work on my real-life relationships/friendships, and I am going to start to TALK, instead of using fancy words to cover up what I really mean. And if i have something to say about someone in my journal, I am going to try my hardest to be obvious, or address the person by name if appropriate. My entire life is like one huge puzzle, and i am sure people are sick of putting together the pieces. I just always felt like i NEEDED to be vague and private, because I wasn't sure who was reading this... But now, I am going to know exactly who is reading... And I hope it solves some major problems.
I also don't want my being more candid to run people off. it seems like serious entries don't get as much attention and response at the not-so-serious ones. I am not asking for a ton of notes, but it would be nice to know that someone actually takes the time to read what I have to say. I know most of you do, I just want to warn everyone in advance that I will be changing this journal, and if you feel like you need to delete me, that's okay... I am also going to try to comment more, and be a better friend all around to everyone, that includes online friends as well.
So that's it. Tomorrow ALL entries are friends only, indefinately. If you read me and aren't on my friends list, you will have to comment on THIS entry to be added from this point on. (and no this does NOT apply to people who are already friends. everyone is staying.) <3 Thanks for reading through this rant. I could have said a LOT more, but again... Maybe right here/ right now isn't the place to do it.
and with that, i am done. no more on this topic. i just had to get this out in the open.
sorry you cant define me
sorry i break the mold
sorry that i speak my mind
sorry that i dont do what i'm told
sorry if i dont fake it
sorry i curse for real
i will never hide what i really feel.
sorry if i'm not perfect
sorry i dont give a fuck
sorry i'm not a diva
sorry thats not what i want
sorry im not a virgin
sorry im not a SLUT
i wont let you break me
think what you want.
I've come to a couple of decisions. I am sick of being harassed. Period. It's gone on periodically for months now, and I've patiently taken it in stride, because honestly I don't give a shit what people think about me. But it does bother me when people who don't know anything about me as a person start drama, and bring my friends into it. That is NOT okay with me. I love my friends, and I dont want them to have added drama in their lives on my account... I'm not quite sure why people (persons) waste their time on me, as I pretty much keep to myself and don't start shit with other people, even when I would really like to. I have one thing that these (this) person(s) do not have, and that's respect. I give people space when they need it, and I keep my mouth shut when I would like to give people a piece of my mind. I consider myself a somewhat decent and classy person, and I wouldn't stoop so low as to personally attack someone in their own space (such as a journal, etc) ESPECIALLY without valid cause, and NEVER without identifying myself. That just shows fear and jealousy, and proves my point. If someone has a problem with the way I live my life, or the things that I write, that's fine. I can take critisism better than most people, and being a writer I DO expect to have people who disagree with me... I always welcome a good healthy debate or arguement, as long as it's valid. But coming to MY journal and disrespecting me by calling me a slut, and a whore, and stupid... I won't put up with it. It's even worse when they bring my friends into it...
And even with the drama that has been arising, i am glad to say that I STILL haven't stooped as low as calling the person disrespectful names or attacking their character. I dont know who this person is, I dont know anything about them, and even if i do know the person by association, I still have no right to call them a whore or invade their life and personal space with vulgarity. It's just sick and immature. I cannot stand immaturity, and I cannot stand people who judge me based on... oh, i dont know... petty things like my hair color!... Those kinds of things don't get to me anyway. I have been judged a lot in my lifetime by the way I look. But I know who i am, and the people who know me are the only people whos opinions matter.
But, it still does get under my skin when people try to bring me down. I am only human, I do get my feelings hurt. I was upset, and angry, and confused... And that's what made me decide to make ALL posts of mine friends-only, and start banning people from my journal. It's not just going to happen here, it's going to happen everywhere I have an account. Even though I don't like doing it, I have been driven to taking this kind of step. To protect my privacy, and the privacy of my friends, I feel like this would be the best route to go.
In making that decision, i have also decided that i am NOT going to be as vague as I usually am in my entries. I am going to try to let my guard down, and stop trying to communicate hidden messages through my journal. I see it too much, and I don't want my journal entries to make up for talking things out one-on-one. I have spent the majority of my time with this journal writing entries for OTHER people... to send them messages, and to inform them of how i was feeling. Well, it's not going to happen anymore. I am going to work on my real-life relationships/friendships, and I am going to start to TALK, instead of using fancy words to cover up what I really mean. And if i have something to say about someone in my journal, I am going to try my hardest to be obvious, or address the person by name if appropriate. My entire life is like one huge puzzle, and i am sure people are sick of putting together the pieces. I just always felt like i NEEDED to be vague and private, because I wasn't sure who was reading this... But now, I am going to know exactly who is reading... And I hope it solves some major problems.
I also don't want my being more candid to run people off. it seems like serious entries don't get as much attention and response at the not-so-serious ones. I am not asking for a ton of notes, but it would be nice to know that someone actually takes the time to read what I have to say. I know most of you do, I just want to warn everyone in advance that I will be changing this journal, and if you feel like you need to delete me, that's okay... I am also going to try to comment more, and be a better friend all around to everyone, that includes online friends as well.
So that's it. Tomorrow ALL entries are friends only, indefinately. If you read me and aren't on my friends list, you will have to comment on THIS entry to be added from this point on. (and no this does NOT apply to people who are already friends. everyone is staying.) <3 Thanks for reading through this rant. I could have said a LOT more, but again... Maybe right here/ right now isn't the place to do it.
and with that, i am done. no more on this topic. i just had to get this out in the open.
sorry you cant define me
sorry i break the mold
sorry that i speak my mind
sorry that i dont do what i'm told
sorry if i dont fake it
sorry i curse for real
i will never hide what i really feel.
sorry if i'm not perfect
sorry i dont give a fuck
sorry i'm not a diva
sorry thats not what i want
sorry im not a virgin
sorry im not a SLUT
i wont let you break me
think what you want.
